On December 15, Sita
Giri – our “daughter” (she is the daughter of mit’s younger brother), neighbor,
and 6th grade English student – got married. What made Sita’s
wedding unusual in this season of weddings was the speed and circumstances in which
it was arranged. Three days earlier, Sita did not know that Padam Giri existed;
on Sunday, she was married to him.

Many brides and
grooms know little about each other, but due diligence seemed cursory even by local
standards. Sita did not learn, for example, until she arrived at her new home
that the village has no electricity.
Certainly the people who gave her an electric fan and rice cooker as
wedding gifts wish they had known that.

About the bride: When we first arrived, we found Sita to be sullen and insolent. To our dismay, she entered our 6th grade class this past April. She sat in the back of the room, talked to her friends, and was disruptive. This did not sit well with Harvey and there were a few unhappy moments. But then Sita and Harvey reached an unspoken accommodation: in various ways Harvey acknowledged her status as the senior stateswoman of the 6th grade (at 18, she is five or six years older than most of her classmates), and Sita in return kept disruptions to a tolerable level. Over time, the accommodation turned into grudging mutual respect and then (something never to be admitted) into fondness.



After the wedding we
learned that Sita’s education was one of the negotiating points. Padam’s family
reasonably argued that Sita, being 18 and still in the 6th grade, is not a
serious student. When she comes to live with us, they said, she will be put to
work. Sita’s family said that she must continue her education and, contrary to usual
practice, should continue to live in Dharapani. It was finally agreed that Sita
would live here for an undefined period “to study.” That, combined with low
demands for dowry, suggested to some that Sita’s family had a strong
negotiating hand and played it well.
A week after the
wedding, Sita returned to Dharapani, husband in tow. We then learned that Sita
will not complete the school year after all, but will return to Lamjung for the
two months that Padam is on leave. After that, perhaps she will return here,
perhaps not. People are saying it will be Sita’s choice where she lives.
Perhaps so, perhaps not. We don’t know how this will play out. But as Sita
figures out her married life, she will have to do it largely on her own. Once
Padam returns to Abu Dhabi in February, they will not see each other again for
two years.
*****
And now for
something completely different….
One exercise had
them draw portraits of each other. All were masterpieces and worthy of our
refrigerator, if we had one.

But we are partial to the portraits that 7th-grader Sirjana Pariyar did of us.
*****
The mill is a big
hit. It is open and busy every morning, and the women’s association is seeing a
profit. We still get pleasure from wandering up there occasionally and seeing
it being used.

*****
The weather is cold
at night and warm during the days – the best time of year to be in Nepal.
Unfortunately, we have been getting waves of pollution drifting up from India
and stalling against the Himals. Combined with the winter fogs, we can go for
days in banks of thick acrid haze, unable to see across the valley. Scheduled
power outages most evenings bring home the length of the winter nights and suggest
an early bedtime; we have been getting 10 or 11 hours of sleep a night. We have
never felt so rested.
*****
The end of our time
here is creeping up. The school year goes through March, after which we will
pack up, say difficult good-byes, and re-enter the madness of American life.
Which brings to mind
the holiday season. We wish all of you a very pleasant one and all the best for
2014.
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